2chicksand1oldlady

Two sisters taking care of their mom while trying to live life and find love.

The Beginning of The Next Level

2014 Blogging While Brown Corporate Sponsors

Gina McCauley, Founder of Blogging While Brown recognizing the 2014 Corporate Sponsors

This has been an amazing weekend for me. I stepped out on faith and attended the Blogging While Brown Conference in Harlem this week. This conference was so amazing. Also, I need to mention I attended this by myself. Imagine “me” in the city that never sleeps, by myself without any cares in the world. It was amazing ☺. (Side note: All caregivers need a break by themselves. It’s an opportunity to recharge and do the things you want to do for you. That’s critical to the caregiver experience. You have to have a life too!!! Now back to our regularly scheduled post ☺)

Pamela Davis and Rothesia Stokes, Founder & Blogger of Shehaspurpose.com

Dinner Happiness at Chocolat in Harlem with Rothesia Stokes, Founder & Blogger of Shehaspurpose.com

I was in awe at the influx of bloggers committed to sharing their experiences, testimonies, stories, and passions to provide conversations on their varied topics of choice. These “thought leaders “covered topics that ranged from fashion, beauty, empowerment, health & wellness, parenting, love, and finance. There also were some that were not even “born” yet. These bloggers were “pregnant” with purpose, and their “miracles” were still being developed :).

It was so inspiring to be surrounded by such an amazing group of people all committed to using their voices to create a community of content that will be used to empower, encourage, inspire, and propel their communities. That’s what it’s all about, sharing your vision to give vision to others. We all have a voice; it’s just having the courage to share it that’s the challenge.I walked away with a fire in my belly that I won’t let get put out by the demands of life.

I’m committed to sharing my experiences as a caregiver to help others deal with a challenge that is going to impact more people than you can imagine. Caregiving cannot be treated as something that families deal with secretly or a hidden obligation. Caregiving must be given a full conversation like Cancer, AIDS, Diabetes, etc. As the Baby Boomer generation continues to age, more people will be faced with dilemma of having elderly parents that need around the clock care. There has to be a place where resources are readily accessible to address the challenges of finding healthcare, facilities, agencies, insurance, legal information,etc. The list could go on and on. My goal is to be that resource for anyone in need.

So, I’m starting the conversation now by giving my commitment to take 2Chicksand1oldlady to the next level. This site will become a resource for that information, and will continue to grow and evolve based upon identified needs. So, this is where I need your help. What would you like to see information on? Where do you feel like you are struggling? Please share your thoughts with me, and let’s take this next level walk together.

So, watch out for the changes that are coming! Take this walk with me, and let’s put a voice to Caregiving that will help give it the recognition it deserves and needs. Until we meet again.
Xo

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Taking Things To The Next Level

Taking Things To The Next Level

I’m taking a little break in our regularly scheduled program to talk about my upcoming adventure. I’m so excited to have the opportunity to attend Blogging While Brown this year. Blogging While Brown is a premier blogging conference dedicated to education, collaboration, and innovation among bloggers of color.

The Blogging While Brown conference brings together Black social media experts, speakers, and independent content creators together to educate, inspire, and expand their influence in social media and technology.

I look forward to learning and sharing many techniques that will help turn 2chicksand1oldlady.com into a lifestyle blog that addresses the needs of caregivers in an engaging, entertaining, and supportive way. There are some big changes on the horizon for our blog. We can’t wait for you to engage with us. This is just the beginning! Please continue to join us on the ride.

Until we meet again!

xo

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If Only Heaven Received Mail

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This is one of the hardest blogs for me to start. Father’s Day is a really challenging day for us. We’re always happy to see and hear about all of the wonderful fathers in the world. We just wish we could talk to ours. We feel blessed to have many memories that we can share about our time together. But, what we wouldn’t give for just one more conversation with him.

If only heaven could receive mail, this is what we would send to him…..

 

Dearest Pops,

I hope this letter finds you sitting by the ocean casting your line off the pier about to catch a big fish. Or, better yet sitting down and having a conversation about life and politics with Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Miles Davis, and Wayman Tisdale.  You always had great insight, and were extremely well read. I’ll never forget how you made me read the “Autobiography of Malcolm X” at twelve years old. You always believed and reinforced education was the key to success. You always told us that if we didn’t know our history, we were doomed to repeat it. Wow, we miss those conversations.

Really, we miss you.

Your eyes always shined so brightly when you saw us. Your laugh was infectious, and I find myself at times hearing that laugh in myself. It startles me, and I find myself trying to repeat it to capture another moment of you. You were always so kind, and so outgoing. It’s one of the qualities  we try to emulate. You never were afraid to strike up a good conversation. Remember, when I called you to get advice on cooking collard greens for a lady in the grocery store? You spoke to her like she was family. Or, when we went on our family vacation and a group of women just asked you to go with them for a minute. You just said, “ok” and went.

Next thing we know they have you in in full makeup with boobs and everything on stage helping them win a “beautiful manly man” contest. Of course, your team won. You looked beautiful, even with your mustache :). 

Wow, how can we not talk about the mustache. We loved your mustache.  Remember that time Tracey and I refused to go with you when we were little because you shaved it off. We were like “stranger danger”, because our Daddy has a mustache :). It took you thirty minutes to convince us to go with you. The mustache was part of your swag. I miss that “Pops Davis Swagger”. Are you still wearing only shirts with horses and polo players in heaven? If so, how do they fit over your wings? I wish you could send me a photo :).

 

You always were smooth and clean at all times. However, even with that “Davis Swagger” we always knew we were your number one priority. You would stop everything to be there for us, to talk to us about anything. We always felt so loved, so special. We ache for children who don’t know that kind of love from their parents, and we thank God that we were blessed with you.

We know you’re up there supporting us and praying for us all times. God got a beautiful angel in you. We miss you so much. But, this Father’s Day is not about reflecting on the loss of you. It’s about remembering how blessed we are because of you. The memories are what dries the tears and brings smiles to our faces.

We miss you Pops Davis! There will never be enough words to describe the love we have for you.But, at least there will be all of the memories to get us through. Until we meet again!

Love always,
Pamela and Tracey

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The Perfect Balance

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It’s amazing how love and forgiveness go together. Each an integral part of the other. But, always being spoken about like it’s two separate things. I guess you don’t really start to make the connection until you have to really think about it..

I’ve had the opportunity to think about it a lot lately. Between battles at home with my mom, to health challenges with my aunt. I’ve had a front row seat to witnessing how integral love and forgiveness are to each other. No matter how angry you are with someone you love, when they need you, it’s amazing how love makes you forget anything that happened. This is not a permanent solution to the problem. But, it definitely shows how love can move things to the back burner pretty quickly when needed.

This is especially critical to remember as a caregiver. This role always means that you are the one making the hard and unpopular decisions. So, you take the brunt of the complaints. These complaints of course are not always given with kind words; and they often are laced with some “choice words” that would make the most patient person go HAM :).

However, as a caregiver that is one of the points where rubber meets the road. You can go HAM back, and let the battle begin (I’ve chosen this route before). Or, you can remember the old adage “Sticks and Stones may break my bones. But, words can never hurt me”. See they were schooling us back on the playground to not get upset over someone else’s perception of us. This of course is the option that most of us have a difficult time choosing.

It’s so easy to be angry because you have so much pent up frustration at times that it’s right below the surface, chilling out waiting for a moment to seep out. It’s just a matter of time and opportunity. However, love is always there too. Love is what gets you through the days that make you feel like you want to give up. Love is also what helps you remember that this moment is temporary. So, don’t make a permanent decision in a temporary situation. It’s the love that leads to forgiveness.

Love reminds you that this is someone you would lay your life down to protect. So, if you are willing to make that level of sacrifice, you have to be willing to forgive them when they say things that hurt your feelings. You have to remember that the forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you. Forgiveness makes you lighter. You’re not weighed down by anger. It allows you to focus on the person, and the moments that you have to share. That’s what life and love is all about. It’s about savoring the moments that make life worth living; and forgiving the moments that weigh you down.

Love and forgiveness are like “yin yang”, two emotions going in opposite directions that always lead back to each other. Embrace love in all you do, and forgiveness will be there when things go off course. Until we meet again!

xo

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