2chicksand1oldlady

Two sisters taking care of their mom while trying to live life and find love.

Playing Hooky

Paradise😄

I had to share this slice of “birthday heaven” with you😄.
I’m having a “hooky” day, and I don’t know why I haven’t done this sooner.

“Playing Hooky” has always had a bad reputation. It’s always been associated with people trying to get out of work or school. Well, I’m here to advocate that every person with a job & family should “play hooky” ASAP! It’s a well deserved adventure waiting to happen.

I’m so glad that I got up today,and did my normal routine. But, instead of going to my office. I went to the spa, and spent the day being rubbed & scrubbed. I’m sitting here typing this on my iPhone as I have a lite bite to eat looking out over the pool. I don’t think I’m this relaxed when I sleep😄.

Long story short, take some time for yourself. The world will keep on running if you take a break. Treat yourself, love yourself enough to get quiet & relax.

Until we meet again.

xo

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It Just Keeps Getting Better

Last year at this time, I was getting ready to make the trip of a lifetime to Cape Town, South Africa. It was my first trip overseas, and a “bucket list” moment to celebrate turning forty. That trip really started me on a year of self-discovery and acceptance. South Africa spoke to my soul. It taught me the true meaning of hope and forgiveness in the face of insurmountable odds. A book is being born out of that journey (a work in progress, that will be discussed later 🙂 ). 

Now, I’m about turn forty-one, and there are no trips on deck this time. But, the blessed feeling still remains. Many people complain about getting older. But, I feel like a fine wine that gets better with age. I love aging. I’ve never felt this comfortable in my own skin. I feel like the world is clearer now. I know who I am, and where I want to go. That’s the type of direction we long for in our youth.  However, I know that everything comes in time and order. I’m just thankful, that it’s finally my time. 

I’m thankful for the possibility of another year, another opportunity to step into my purpose. Another chance to spend time with my family.  Life is precious, and we should celebrate every year because that means our assignment is not done. There is still time to get it right. I look forward to many more opportunities  to get it right; and I celebrate wholeheartedly another chance. 

Until we meet again!

Image

Top of The World

xo

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High School Life Lessons

High School Life Lessons

This quote was something my 10th grade AP American History Teacher required that we learn and be able to recite on demand. Back then I didn’t understand the significance that this would hold for me. I didn’t understand this would help me navigate through business, relationships, or life.

Excuses are tools of incompetence used to build monuments to nothing. But, the funny thing is we use them constantly in our lives. We use excuses as reasons why we can’t complete tasks, why we don’t want to do something, why we don’t want to date someone, etc. The list of examples of how excuses have been used is endless. However, even with all of these endless uses, the result is always the same, nothing. Excuses are only temporary solutions. They are band-aids that will eventually peel back, and expose the wound or weakness.

I’ve had to dust this quote off recently. As a Caregiver, I’ve allowed some of these excuses to keep me from living. Obviously, I don’t mean actual “living”. But, I mean enjoying and savoring life. It’s so easy to say you can’t do something because ” I need to be home to take care of mom”; or ” I can’t go out tonight because I have to pick up my sister from work”. Again, it’s another endless list of reasons on why you can’t. When in actuality, its about you being “too afraid” to let go. Too afraid that if you let them find a way to do without you, you never really needed to make this sacrifice in the first place.

That’s a tough thought to face. But, we have all to face it. We all have to remember to take away the “can’t” and turn it into “can”. It’s not easy, it’s baby steps. But, those baby steps can free your heart & soul to do the things in life you were called to do. So, stop building monuments to nothing; and start laying bricks to your future. A happy and fulfilled caregiver, is the best caregiver in the world. Remember, all you can do is strive to be and do your best. The rest is irrelevant :-). Until we meet again!

xo

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Decisions and Balance: The Misconceptions About Caregivers

Decisions and Balance: The Misconceptions About Caregivers

This post was born out a conversation I had with a really good friend. One of her friends, who she happens to work with was not responding to her calls or texts. It really hurt her feelings, and made her question their friendship. Especially, since another friend was able to speak with her. All of these things I’m sure sound like they might have an issue.Except, in this case there is a twist. Her friend is taking care of her sister, who has had a reoccurrence of breast cancer. She also happens to be the mother of a teenage son, and has a family that she works hard to support.

So, she is a member of the elite club called, “The Caregivers”. We’re more powerful than the “Avengers”, and have more patience and skills than the “X-Men”. Lives depend on our focus and strength. But, with all of that talent, we at times can be extremely hard to deal with. I know these words don’t sound like they go together. Especially, when we are putting the needs of others ahead of our own, But, that’s the main reason we can be so hurtful. We’ve put the needs of the ones we care for, above the people who are there to support us.

We don’t do it intentionally. We’re just so focused on the person we’re caring for, that we forget there are other people in the world that care about us. We get a serious case of “tunnel vision”, and need to be brought back to reality sometimes.

I explained “tunnel vision” to my friend, and explained that her friend doesn’t want to jeopardize their friendship. But, when you’re a caregiver. Especially, a caregiver of an ailing relative. The person’s needs consume you.

It’s not like caring for a child. A child you bear from your body, so the connection is different. A caregiver’s connection is built from love and obligation that has been established through your prior relationship. That connection goes through many changes as you care for that person (That’s another blog post).

“The Caregivers” are a special group. Not everyone can do what we do. But, with that responsibility comes a cost. At times it’s our health, sanity, friends, and life. Be patient with us, and yourself. You may not always understand our silence. But, know it’s not born out of something you did. It may actually be that we’re overwhelmed, and trying to figure out our next move. Just be there. Your presence is always felt and appreciated.

Until we meet again! Pray for all the caregivers you know. They may not hear it, but they will feel it.

xo

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