2chicksand1oldlady

Two sisters taking care of their mom while trying to live life and find love.

Do You Feel Like You’re Always Working?

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I’m updating my “resume” 🙂

 

Doesn’t it feel like the work is never done sometimes?

There are emails and mountains of paper work to do on our jobs to ensure we’re adding value. At home we have to navigate mountains of laundry, dinners, and details of the days with a single bound. There is always something to do. Especially, when you’re a caregiver. It’s like adding another job on top of the others you balance. But, today my Mom told me about a new job that I need to be focused on too, finding a husband? 

I know I’ve covered this in another blog. But, my Mom is laser focused on my love life. It’s like having a counselor, teacher, and drill Sargent rolled into one person. Extra special emphasis on “Drill Sargent”. Because she has given me “orders” that i need to make this happen. She doesn’t use the “Paris Island” technique. She is more adept at using the ultimate lethal weapon “Mother Guilt”. It’s the most powerful weapon in the world, and no one is immune to it :-).

My mom is concerned that she will be in heaven by the time I get married. So, according to her I need to work find a husband with the same effort I put into my job. Wow, I didn’t know you were supposed to “work” to find a husband. I thought that when a “man finds a wife, he finds a good thing”? Don’t get me wrong I know I have to be available emotionally and physically. But, I didn’t know I need to work it like I’m trying to get a bonus or promotion.  Do I need to update my resume for this new job? Should I add this to my LinkedIn Profile? Also, how do I fit this into my schedule? I guess there really is going to be no rest for the weary or single :-). 

Don’t get me wrong, I know love is not going to come knocking at my door. But, I have enough jobs. What happened to the days when love was a normal part of life, and marriage was where you put in the “work”?  I hope that doesn’t sound too much like rainbows and fairy tales. I guess I better update my “resume”. Until we meet again!

xo

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Which do you choose?

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“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21 NIV)
   

I’ve found myself reflecting on this quite a bit lately. I’m really making a concerted effort to be calmer and wiser in 2014. I’m generally a very calm person. I’m still working on wise :-).  But, my stress level can be on 10+ when dealing with the demands of work and family. It’s hard to find a moment for myself, and it starts to come out through my words. I find myself saying ” I can’t do this”, ” I need a break”, or “I need a husband” (especially, when I’m changing light bulbs and fixing items around the house. It never was my desire to be a “handy diva” :-).

It’s amazing how the word “can’t” becomes a fixture in my vocabulary when I’m stressed out. I thought of it as just “venting”. But, actually it’s just  setting myself up for failure. I’m putting limitations on my abilities that don’t need to be there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying not to communicate your fears and emotions. I’m just saying remember your “words”. As the proverb says, “The tongue has the power of life and death”. So, with that power comes the great responsibility to make a choice of how you want to express yourself.

You have to choose whether you will allow your words to express this temporary feeling, but balance it with thoughts and words to get you past it. Or, do you decide to wallow “in your feelings”? That’s when we have a “pity party”, and lick our wounds. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone needs and deserves a moment. But, is it just a “moment” or a “vacation”?

A friend and I used to have a pact that we would give each other “thirty seconds”. Thirty seconds to feel sorry for ourselves, and then we had to move past it. That wasn’t always the case of course. But, that quick “reality check” would remind us it’s not that serious. So, instead of rehashing the situation. We made the choice to try again. Tomorrow is always another day. 

So, instead of “venting”, I’m trying to be “honestly encouraging”. That means that I clearly articulate my frustrations. But, I remember that it’s just not that deep. The temporary feelings will fade away, if I don’t allow it to manifest in my thoughts or tongue. This is a life-lesson I struggle with everyday. But, I know it’s a choice. So, I’m choosing “life”. How about you?

Until we meet again!

xo 

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Lacing Up My Track Shoes

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Have you ever felt like you’re in a race against time?

You know that feeling when your heart is racing, and your palms are sweaty because you don’t know if you’re going to make it. Your goal is right in front of you. But, do you have enough time to reach it? It’s one of the most frightening and motivating feelings in the world. It’s just hard to remember that when it’s happening to you.

When you’re “in the mix”, its challenging not to let your fear become a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Especially, when you see things shifting in the wrong direction,in spite of all your efforts. Sometimes, things get worse before they get better. They always say it’s darkest before the dawn, right?

I’m “in the mix” right now. It’s not where I want to be at all. But, I know that I will overcome this challenge to my health. This “setback” is going to be a “setup” for my life. I have too many reasons that require I stay healthy ( Main two reasons to stay healthy:”the other chick and the old lady”). Plus, the fact that these are some of the best years of my life. I want to live it fully and completely. So, I choose to use this time “in the mix” to nurture and restore myself. I choose to give it everything I have, with the full belief that I will overcome. I’m not my genetic pre-disposition. I’m a “chain breaker” and a “clock beater”! Wish me luck 🙂

Until we meet again!

XO

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Another Step in the Journey

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How’s 2014 starting for you? The “two chicks and the old lady” are doing good :-). I think we’ve made a vow to not always show up ready for an argument.This philosophy is definitely helping the house be peaceful, and our blood pressure nice and controlled. It’s the simple pleasures that make life worth living :-).

I wish everyone could adopt this practice. There definitely would be less misunderstandings and fights in the world. There are so many other things to focus on in life, who has the time to focus on the things or people who bring us down. I rather spend time laughing, and creating memories that will sustain us during the hard times. When you’re a caregiver that can be hard to remember sometimes. But, I’m definitely making a pledge this year to keep this first in all of my interactions. Negative people and situations are an energy/spirit drain. Don’t let anyone “drain” you. Respect is never earned from an argument. Speak your mind, but maintain your peace. The right people will be there, and the negative will fall away.

Stay focused on the journey, and take it one day at a time. Until we meet again!

XO

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